You are the boss. You are in charge. You are powerful.

How do you feel when you read those words?

Skeptical? Defensive? Ready to give me evidence of why that’s not the case for you?

or do you feel…

Strong. Capable. Energized. Free.

We hear a lot about the fear of failure but much less about the fear of success.

We know with great power comes great responsibility (and pressure). We also lose some space to point fingers and place blame if we are the ones in charge. It can be overwhelming, burdensome, and uncomfortable to feel how much power we truly have over our own lives. 

It can be easier to stay trapped, stuck, and stifled. You follow the rules, obey the established structure, and rarely question if it all has to be this way. Does it have to be this way? Do you truly HAVE to do or be the roles or obligations in life that drain your energy and destroy your spirit? 

It is well established that most humans would rather remain in familiar pain and suffering than venture into the unfamiliar unknown that might lead to a better life. Thanks a lot amygdala and sympathetic nervous system! Our brain and body are designed to keep us alive and surviving, not necessarily thriving. 

The “what ifs” happen even when dreaming of achieving all of your goals and everything working out the way you want it to. What will more money mean for you? Will it turn you into a greedy, mean person? (it won’t). Even with good change, there can be a sense of loss for your old life, the old ways, and your former self. Anything new and unfamiliar may feel strange at first.

When folks are asked what they did to turn their life around from burnout, exhausted, and miserable to peaceful, joyful, and free, usually the first step and most basic answer is that they decided. They made a conscious choice to be intentional with the design of their life. They decided they would evaluate their life and figure out what should stay and what should go–and how to practically make that happen. They decided they would no longer tolerate certain things. They decided they deserved better. 

You don’t need permission.

So…if you push outside your comfort zone to face the unknown, acknowledge your fear, and make the choice to take control of the quality of your life, I hope you can feel so incredibly proud of yourself!  

If you aren’t used to creating your own schedule, it might be easy to slip back into overworking. It might require practice and intentionality to create reasonable to-do lists and schedule in time for rest and play. You may not have any hobbies if you’ve been so busy caring for family members or working full-time +. Give yourself time to adjust to your new lifestyle. Your nervous system will need some experiences to be able to trust the calm, joy, and safety. 

Please also be careful to not overwhelm yourself by making too many changes all at once. Only you can know what fits your personality and needs best at any given time. Many large life changes (e.g. divorce, moving to another state or country, quitting a job, etc) do not happen out of the blue but after many small decisions that have added up over time. 

What do you need to start anew in one area of your life? 

Can you embrace your power and own the ability to design the life you want?