For many women, receiving an autism diagnosis later in life is a transformative experience. It often comes after years of searching for answers, navigating social difficulties, and feeling misunderstood. Yet, along with relief and a sense of clarity, many late-diagnosed women encounter an unexpected challenge: imposter syndrome.

Understanding Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome is the pervasive feeling of being a fraud, where despite evidence to the contrary, you believe your success or achievements are due to luck or deception. In the context of autism, imposter syndrome can manifest as doubt or skepticism about the validity of your diagnosis. You might question whether you "deserve" the label, if you're truly autistic, or if you're just adopting a trendy identity. Especially if you wonder how you could go this many years (your whole life so far) without anyone suspecting or mentioning that you might be neurodivergent.

As a neurodivergent psychologist and woman myself, I've seen (and felt) firsthand how this syndrome affects late-diagnosed women. Here's more on why it happens and how you can navigate these complex emotions.

Why Imposter Syndrome Occurs After a Late Autism Diagnosis

1. Years of Masking

Many women with undiagnosed autism become experts at masking—consciously or subconsciously hiding their autistic traits to fit in. This survival strategy often leads to success in education and careers, but it also creates a disconnect between who you are and how others perceive you. When you're finally diagnosed, it can be hard to reconcile your internal experience with the external image you've curated.

2. Societal Stereotypes

Autism is still widely misunderstood, with stereotypes perpetuating the idea that it's primarily a "male" condition. Late-diagnosed women often struggle to find their place within these narrow definitions. So many of the stereotypical “young, white, male” signs of autism are externally noticeable to others which makes it hard to miss but the internal signs of autism that are more common in females are easier for others to miss/not notice. If your traits don't align with popular portrayals of autism, you might question whether you're truly autistic.

3. Questioning Your Experience

Autistic traits in women can be subtle or overlap with other conditions, leading to misdiagnoses or delayed recognition. If you've been told for years that your struggles were due to anxiety, depression, or other factors, you might have internalized these explanations. Suddenly shifting your understanding to embrace an autistic identity can feel disorienting and may trigger doubts about your diagnosis.

Navigating Imposter Syndrome as a Late-Diagnosed Autistic Woman

1. Give Yourself Time

Adjusting to a new identity takes time. It's normal to feel uncertainty and even grief for the years spent without understanding your true self. Allow yourself the space to process these emotions and remember that accepting your diagnosis is a journey, not a one-time event.

2. Find Your Community

Connecting with other late-diagnosed autistic women can be incredibly validating. Join online forums, support groups, or social media communities where you can share your experiences and learn from others who've walked a similar path. Finding people who "get it" helps to normalize your feelings and dispel imposter syndrome.

3. Seek Professional Support

Working with a psychologist or psychotherapist who understands autism can be invaluable. They can help you explore your identity, work through imposter syndrome, and develop strategies for embracing your diagnosis. If you're unsure where to start, look for therapists specializing in neurodiversity or late-diagnosed autism. And if you live in New York, Iowa, or any PsyPact locations, working with me might be a good fit.

4. Challenge Negative Thoughts

When imposter syndrome rears its head, practice reframing your thoughts. Instead of thinking, "I'm not really autistic," try "I'm learning to embrace my identity." Remind yourself that autism is a spectrum, and there is no one "right" way to be autistic.

5. Focus on Self-Acceptance

Ultimately, your diagnosis is about understanding yourself and finding ways to thrive. Focus on the aspects of your life that improve with this newfound clarity. Whether it's setting healthier boundaries, advocating for accommodations, or embracing your unique strengths, let these positive changes guide you toward self-acceptance.

Conclusion

Imposter syndrome is a common but temporary hurdle for many late-diagnosed autistic women. By acknowledging your feelings, seeking support, and reframing your thoughts, you can begin to embrace your autistic identity with confidence. Remember, you are not alone, and your journey is valid. As you navigate this new chapter, allow yourself the grace and compassion you deserve.