Navigating life as a highly-sensitive or high-masking neurodivergent adult can often feel like playing an exhausting game of emotional hide-and-seek. You might have spent years feeling “different” or “too much,” with experiences that never quite fit the neurotypical mold. Maybe it’s the way you crave solitude after social interactions, the emotional rollercoaster of trying to fit in, or the acute sensitivity you feel toward sensory inputs like bright lights or loud noises.

If you’ve ever wondered whether you might be autistic, you’re not alone—and you might find that a self-assessment of autistic traits is a helpful first step in diving deeper to better understanding yourself.

Let’s explore what self-assessments are, why they can be validating, and how they may empower you to seek deeper support and answers. If you’re wondering how to start on this journey, I’ll offer practical and compassionate guidance, resources, and tips to honor your unique neurodivergent experience.

Understanding Self-Assessment of Autistic Traits

Self-assessment is exactly what it sounds like: an internal check-in to see if certain traits resonate with your experience. Many people who suspect they might be autistic start by searching google or social media to see what blogs and videos already exist with helpful info. Next, folks may complete online self-assessment tests to get a clearer picture of possible neurodivergent traits.

But before diving into the nuances of self-assessments, let’s remember that these tools are not a replacement for a formal diagnosis, if that is desired and appropriate. Self-assessments can be a gentle gateway to self-awareness and self-compassion.

Why Consider a Self-Assessment?

• Validation and Understanding: A self-assessment might bring a flood of relief. It can provide language to describe lifelong struggles that seemed inexplicable. Imagine learning there’s a reason why you always struggled with loud, chaotic environments or why you spent years perfecting your “social scripts.”

• Empowerment Through Knowledge: Understanding your traits can be empowering. It’s an opportunity to embrace your neurodivergent identity and explore strategies that help you thrive.

• Next Steps for Support: If the results of your self-assessment suggest you have strong autistic traits, this could be a valuable step toward deciding whether to pursue a formal evaluation or connect with a therapist.

Signs That Might Encourage a Self-Assessment

Women and those assigned female at birth are often underdiagnosed or misdiagnosed because they might present autism differently compared to the traditional diagnostic criteria rooted in male patterns. Some traits that may resonate include:

• High-Masking Behaviors: You’re a chameleon, mirroring the social norms around you to fit in or avoid standing out. You might spend hours after a social gathering processing what you said and worrying if you came across as awkward.

• Extreme Sensitivity: Sounds, lights, textures, and even the emotional tone in a room can feel overwhelming. Maybe you’ve been called “too sensitive” or “dramatic” because your sensory experiences are heightened.

• Burnout and Exhaustion: If you feel perpetually exhausted, especially after social situations, it could be related to masking your neurodivergent traits for long periods.

• Special Interests: You dive deep into subjects with intense focus and passion. Perhaps you've felt ashamed for being too obsessive about your hobbies or interests.

• Struggles with Executive Functioning: Tasks like organizing, planning, or meeting deadlines might feel more difficult than they seem for your neurotypical peers.

Popular Self-Assessment Tools

There are a variety of tools you can use, but here are a few commonly recommended options:

1. RAADS-R (Ritvo Autism Asperger Diagnostic Scale-Revised): This tool is often used in both clinical and self-assessment settings. It examines a range of autistic traits, from social skills to sensory sensitivities.

2. AQ (Autism Spectrum Quotient): Developed by Dr. Simon Baron-Cohen and his team, this questionnaire is widely recognized and often used as an initial screener.

3. CAT-Q (Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire): This tool is especially helpful for understanding the extent to which you might be masking or camouflaging your autistic traits.

How to Use Self-Assessments Meaningfully

Taking a self-assessment can feel like an “aha” moment. It might bring up a mix of relief, confusion, or even grief for years spent without understanding. Here’s how to navigate this process with self-compassion:

1. Set the Scene: Find a quiet, safe space where you won’t be interrupted. Make sure you’re in a place where you feel emotionally secure, as some questions might feel vulnerable or triggering.

2. Be Honest: It’s tempting to answer in ways that reflect what you wish were true, rather than what’s really true. Honor your current experiences, even if they feel uncomfortable to acknowledge.

3. Take Your Time: You don’t have to rush through. Give yourself permission to take breaks and process the emotions that come up.

4. Journal Your Feelings: Keep a journal handy to jot down any feelings, memories, or insights that arise during the self-assessment. It might help to have a record of what you learned about yourself.

Next Steps After Your Self-Assessment

1. Reflect and Validate: Whether the results surprise you or not, take a moment to acknowledge what you’ve uncovered. You are not broken or “wrong”—you are beautifully neurodivergent, and it’s okay to feel a range of emotions.

2. Seek Community Support: Joining a community of late-diagnosed autistic women or other neurodivergent groups can be immensely healing. Shared stories can make you feel seen and less alone.

3. Consider Professional Support: A self-assessment can be a great first step, but it may also be helpful to work with a neurodivergent-affirming therapist who can support you. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore your identity, develop coping strategies, and work through any grief or trauma related to masking or burnout.

The Benefits of Knowing and Embracing Your Traits

Many people fear that understanding their autistic traits will lead to limitations or labels, but in truth, embracing your neurodivergent identity can also be liberating. Here’s why:

• Authenticity Over Exhaustion: When you know your limits and needs, you can start to prioritize environments and relationships that honor your whole self. For example, if you’ve always struggled in noisy environments, you can unapologetically seek out quiet spaces that recharge you. No more pushing yourself constantly to do more, stay longer, etc.

• Strengthened Relationships: By understanding your communication style, you can set clearer boundaries with loved ones and explain your needs more confidently.

• Compassionate Self-Care: Knowing your sensory and emotional triggers can help you curate a life that is gentler and more aligned with your actual needs and overall well-being. Not just what others’ think/say is the right amount of anything (e.g. rest, socializing, solitude, work, etc).

Remember: You are not alone on this journey. Many highly-sensitive and neurodivergent women have navigated this path and found a sense of belonging and purpose on the other side. You deserve to live authentically and compassionately, honoring every part of who you are.

Final Thoughts on Self-Assessment

Self-assessment is not the end of the road but rather an invitation to explore and embrace your neurodivergent self. Whether it leads you to a formal diagnosis or greater self-acceptance, it’s a powerful tool for personal growth. If you’re still unsure about your results or feel overwhelmed, consider seeking guidance from a therapist who can offer more clarity.

If you’re ready interested in learning more about the neurodiversity-affirming virtual ADHD and Autism assessments I offer to adults, here’s more about the process.