Surviving the Holidays as an HSP

Season’s greetings to my fellow highly-sensitive persons (HSPs)!

The hustle and bustle of a busy holiday season in late autumn/early winter is energy that is not aligned with nature and the natural cycles that include rest and renewal during this season. Therefore, if the status quo expectations swirling around you at this time feel overwhelming and “just too damn much,” you are not alone. 

Not only are you ‘not alone’ but you are not the “odd one out” who “can’t hack it.” So many HSPs feel pressured to “suck it up and deal” or “buck up” for the benefit of others at this time of year. “Do it for the family/kids/tradition” regardless of your actual desires or needs or how it impacts your well-being. 

Between HSP’s nervous system functioning and this being the quiet/reflective time in nature, please let me be clear that: There is NOTHING wrong with you if you don’t want to do/be/go everything and everywhere this holiday season (or anytime of the year for that matter). 

Okay, so even if you are being self-compassionate and not judging yourself for having needs that are outside of the status quo…what to actually do to survive or even thrive during the holiday season. 

Here are a few questions and suggestions for surviving the holidays as an HSP:  

• What activities, traditions, and events actually bring you joy?

  • Are there some things that only happen because we think we “have to” or are “supposed to”? 

  • Are we sacrificing too much when the person(s) we are trying to please don’t even need or want it?

  • What assumptions are we making about everyone’s definition of a “happy holiday”? 

• What can you say no to?

  • Will your mental health be impacted?

  • Will your nervous system be dysregulated by attending the event or seeing that person?

  • Is it worth it? 

  • What other way can you show care and support other than doing the thing you want to say no to?

• What can be limited if not entirely eliminated? 

  • Instead of 4 events in one week, what about only 2? 

  • Can you make the meal a pot-luck instead so you aren’t cooking everything yourself? 

  • Gift exchange rather than purchasing gifts for everyone

  • Two hours at the event, not six 

• Don’t you deserve to enjoy the holiday as well? 

  • Coziness, quiet, gentle expectations, solitude, or whatever your definition of holiday joy is…can’t there be some room for it as well? 

• Is it easier to disappoint yourself rather than disappoint others? Does it always have to be one or the other? 

• Please know and honor your limits, boundaries, and needs even if others do not

• Please prioritize your limited resources (time, energy, money) so they match with your values and needs 

• A regulated nervous system is the best gift you can give to yourself and your loved ones

Wishing you all a peaceful holiday season!

-Desiree

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