New Year, New You?
Is the idea of new year, new you helpful or harmful? Do you set new year’s resolutions? Should you set new goals on January 1st?
If you are like most high-achieving, goal-oriented women, you enjoy setting and meeting goals and focusing on how you can level up in the new year. Maybe January 1 feels like a nice, clean, fresh start to begin again. Perhaps you feel the thrill of opening a new planner or calendar, eager to fill it with your new hopes, dreams, and adventures. I’m the same way.
Too Many Goals
For folks like us, we have to be careful not to overdo it with the goal setting. Constant pressure to grow, evolve, level-up, and be our best/highest self can lead to burnout instead of empowerment. Personal growth and healing happens the fastest when it lives in the context of self-acceptance and self-love. We can’t hate or pressure ourselves into improvement. Long-lasting change and healthy healing do not work that way.
So how do we know if we’ve set too many goals or put too much pressure on ourselves to grow and improve?
Turn your attention inward. When you think about your new goals, what sensations do you feel in your body? Do you notice any tension? How is your breathing? Shallow and fast or slow and deep? Are your thoughts racing? Do you feel overwhelmed thinking about all the areas in your life you’d like to improve? Are you unsure of where to start or how to maintain everything simultaneously?
I get it. It’s tough not to start off with a bang. Big goals are more exciting. Changing one small thing in your life doesn’t feel transformative or worthy of celebration. Go big or go home mentality can take over. However, we know most resolutions are over by February 1 and then folks can feel like failures for not sticking to their routines.
Gentle Goals
Instead of feeling like an inconsistent failure, let’s set realistic intentions for the areas in our life we’d like to improve. Flexible consistency and realistic timelines create gentle goals. Avoid expecting or demanding perfection from yourself. You are a human being. Change is challenging for all humans, even high-achieving ones.
Gentle goals include what you actually have control over. Give yourself space and time to suck at something new. You won’t be an amazing chef or marathon runner on day 1. I know sucking at something is a horrible sensation for a high-achiever but you know you’ll only get better (and actually enjoy the process & new habit/still/hobby) if you give yourself loving grace to be a beginner.
You are Already Amazing
As you take the pressure off yourself to totally transform yourself in the new year and begin exploring how gentle goals can fit into your personal growth plan, above all else, remember you are already amazing!
Remember how awesome you already are. Reflect upon your accomplishments and how far you’ve traveled in your self-improvement journey. What are you grateful for in each area of your life?
So, you don’t need to be a “new you” in the new year. Love and accept your current self, notice what habits, routines, and areas of your life could be better, set gentle goals for how you can make small improvements in those realms, remember how awesome you are, and celebrate even the smallest of wins.
I’d love to hear your gentle goals and the things you already love about your amazing self! If you are looking for support on creating a more aligned life, schedule a free 20-minute phone call with me where we can discuss if working together is a good fit for you needs, goals, and dreams!
