Working Together-My Style as a Therapist
Hi everyone Dr. Desiree here. Today, I wanted to talk a little bit about my style as a therapist because I think that's useful to give you a better sense of my style and what it would be like to work with me if I were your therapist.
Online Therapy in New York, Iowa, & all PsyPact States
I am able to provide online therapy for adults in New York, Iowa, and all PsyPact states and I specialize in couples work, especially happy couples looking to really strengthen their relationship, but also high achieving women who may be recovering from burnout, feeling overwhelmed, stressed and wanting something different in their life. Women who are used to being high achieving and really succeeding a lot, but then still feeling like
“What the heck? I'm a high achiever, I do things right. I work hard. Why is life not flowing and going in an easier way?”
So like I said, let me share a little more about my style and what you could expect if we were to work together. I'll try to keep it as jargon-free as possible and not use really specific psychological terms cause I know for folks sometimes that's really meaningless or isn't that helpful.
Collaborative Therapy
So I really view therapy as a collaborative relationship. I know I'm showing up with expertise and with experience and with some good science behind me, but I always believe that you're the expert on you. You will always know yourself better than I know you and so I really view myself as a helpful guide, as a neutral third party, and someone who shows up as your advocate. I am here for you. You are hiring me to be useful to you. I am here to be of service. And so let's collaboratively build trust and figure out together, what do you need? What do you want?
Personalized Therapy for YOUR Specific Needs
Therapy is truly not one size fits all. As much as I love the theoretical orientations that I pull from and the science and the research that I pull from and those statistics and the trainings I've been through in my previous client work, I don't ever want to make that assumption that, oh, because this worked for somebody else or because this worked in this research situation that it will for sure work for you. Even if the techniques themselves work for most people, like deep breathing—that's a pretty universal one—it's still gonna matter to think about the frequency you need.
You know how much and when because we all need different things on different days and it really depends on where you're at in your journey.
How is your nervous system set up?
What have you been through in the past?
What are your unique intersecting identities and position in the bigger context in the systems? Because all that influences how you navigate the world, how people treat you, what strengths and resources do you have, what struggles and limitations do you face?
So I think it's really important to not just be one size fits all, assuming that, “of course this will work for you.” But really checking in, asking collaboratively, building that together, your specific goals.
Open to Feedback & Adjusting to Your Preferences
I'm very open to feedback. I really believe that I can't just mind read and know exactly what you need. I am an intuitive empath so I do have some skill with really trying to read the energy and using those skills to try to best guess what intervention might make sense at any given moment, but I'm a human and I'm going to make mistakes.
I'm not always going to know, oh, validation was the right call there. Oh no, let's ask a question. Okay, wait, let's challenge a little bit. Right now they need support. They need me to listen. Okay. No, at this point they need more structure. They really are looking for a concrete game plan. So yeah, I trust you. I want you to trust yourself and let's work together to figure out sort of which things you needed at different times.
So definitely open to feedback if you're like, ah, you're talking too much or you're not talking enough, you know, I want real concrete, what do you think I should do? Not that therapy's about giving advice directly, but I just feel like therapy can be this beautiful umbrella of so many different things, depending on what you need and when, and I feel like the pace that people need to make changes is going to be different.
So I never want to pressure someone to move faster because everyone needs different amounts of space or time to implement something new. Change happens at different rates for different people. So it really is my stance that I don't assume that I know right way exactly what you need when you need it, how long you need, what changes you need to make, and how long it'll take to make those changes.
It is a co-creation process. We figure that out together and I will ask, and I will tell you my thoughts. I try to be very transparent with sharing what I'm thinking. “This is what I'm wondering now and what would you like to explore first?”
And again, being open to making those changes. More listening, more talking, more direct suggestions, more challenging, so on and so forth. So it's definitely like the “both” and “all of the above” kind of a scenario that on the one hand, I don't think you have to show up already knowing everything that you want to need. But I don't want to just make assumptions either and just put stuff on you and assume that it'll be what's best.
It is a collaborative process and I am your advocate. I am on your side. I want what's best for you.
And I will give you honest feedback if I disagree or if I worry about that, or I'm like, “Let's think about what this road might be. Let's think about what this road might be. What do you think?” So I definitely am not gonna hold back or just say yes to everything to make you feel good.
Rebuild Your Life
Change is (or can be) a messy process. I do want to respect and honor your expertise on yourself. Yeah, so I really try to be as a goal-oriented and goal-focused as you want to be.
Some folks really enjoy that structure. Some folks don't. I'm mostly go with the flow kind of casual person, but again, I really enjoy using the different tools in the toolbox, depending on what folks need and want at any given time.
So, you know, if that means doing a breathing exercise together, if that means I'm asking you about where you're feeling something in your body, if that means we're making a list together you know, if that means we're putting on music and dancing, I mean, it can really be a lot of different things to help you heal and trust yourself and rebuild your life in a way that works for you.
Virtual Safe Space
All right. I offer virtual therapy. So online only to adults in Florida and Pennsylvania, and I specialize in high-achieving women recovering from burnout because you give a lot, do a lot, you follow the status quo and sometimes it doesn't pay off. So you deserve to be able to have a safe place where you can fall apart and not be judged and not have to be the perfectionistic one or the one that's always got their act together. And maybe you're the rock that supports everybody else, but then who do you fall apart too? When can you be vulnerable?
Probably my three favorite words are safety, empowerment, and alignment. Truly there's nothing wrong with you. Society has set up things in a way that is not always fair. So instead of you changing to fit the environment, let's figure out if there's ways to change the environment to fit your needs so you can thrive and have a life of alignment.
All right. Take care, everyone!
